Yesterday I drove up to Hopkins again this time to meet with thoracic surgeon Stephen Cattaneo (the lung man). After waiting a while I was told there was a mix up about where I should be, so off I went to another building to meet with the doctor, on the way I bumped into my Breast Surgeon Ted Tsangaris, after all the greetings, he asked me how I was doing "mad" I said (not the right thing) as his face changed into a disgruntled husband. We then exchanged some not so nice words, however ended up with a hug and "I'll see you in a month for your check up". Now I really felt like poo (US-shit) as he was my buddy from 12 years. Why should I feel bad I thought, why should I be made to feel hysterical - I have cancer, not just cancer but metastasized cancer- I pressed on to reach my destination in the offices of "Thoracic Surgery." The receptionist informed me I had made a mistake with the time, I was late, and generally blamed me for all of the changes in regards to the time and location. That was it for me- the July 4th fireworks started early- I threw my bag into the chair, and said to all that "John Hopkins was NEVER AT FAULT!" "What's wrong?" the receptionist asked "Oh just cancer" I replied sarcastically and with that the tears came- I was so embarrassed, no tissues, and no composure, how un-British of me, but I was tired of being a "good sport" about all this. Quickly I was ushered into the conference room where I was presented with tissues and a glass of water. I felt like a mad woman- was this the mood swing of Tamoxifen? No I think sometimes it all gets to be too much. Think about it, it has been weeks since I had any sugar, wine (no plumy bouquets or toffee finishes for me), no coffee!!!! That in itself would cause a meltdown in anyone.
Next the Nurse came in, and I let her have it all... poor woman, I was however lucid enough to say it was the doctors who needed yelling at not her. After our "talk", and about 20 minutes later, Stephen Cattaneo, sat down to talk to me about my options. Like my Oncologist Dr. Wolff he to felt I should wait for two months take the hormone therapy, and see if the tumors shrink or not. Quite frankly, that wasn't good enough for me, and I told him so- while I would follow their protocol I was not impressed- there aren't many options at this point for any type of cancer. It is always the same; surgery, chemotherapy, hormone therapy, or radiation. If you think about it- with all the funding none of the protocols have really changed, they are still doing the same old thing. That is why I have changed my diet, become a vegetarian, and only (most of the time) eating raw food. Wheat grass in and up unmentionable places, funky music and lots of dancing. I've researched that can really help.
Monday I see my favorite therapist from the past Rosemary (I always liked her) to get my head shrunk a bit, and then Tuesday I have an appointment with a homeopathic doctor to get some complementary medicine counseling- I will let you know how that works out. Also just to gross you out even more, I have called the lady who does my colonics- that is a lot of fun, plus you instantly lose 5lbs. You can't beat that for a boost, now can you!
Happy July 4th, and with each bang you hear think of my little and not so little tumors bursting into the air to be re-born as new healthy happy cells.
2 comments:
Just know that you're never alone, not here, not ever.
Thanks! I appreciate that
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