Monday, 6 September 2010
Today I was updating my "Crazy Sexy Cancer" profile page I thought I would share it with you all.
I am an artist, and was a college professor. I believe in love, living passionately and looking at life as one big adventurous opportunity. I have walked the road less travelled by, and while It has been hard life is a treasure. Still walking after 12 years of C.
I have metastasized breast cancer in my lungs, (BC since 1998 ER and PR positive) my pelvis, L2 and now have some little suckers in my liver. I believe in loving and not being at war with myself is the answer, as I cannot hate my cancer, it is not the devil to be exorcised. My cancer is a result of something I am not looking at, something physical, emotional, environmental. I am not going to give up digging, delving, and researching. Cancer is the "call" the call to listen, to change, to make an action. Today I was thinking of the word "defiant". Defiant at what has been presented to me on my CT scan, defiant that my number is up, defiant that I will be pushing up daisies by next year! That is it right now anyway. Nope not gonna accept the pink slip.
At present, I am studying the history of the liver, and why I am so drawn to the color red. When I was diagnosed with mets in my lungs it was yellow, bones orange-am I working my way down the color chakras, isn't it supposed to be the other way around. Perhaps I can find my own Da Vinci Code!
There you have it today.
P.S. Has anyone see the Showtime series "The Big C" unless she has some cathartic turn-around, that show is a piece of giant poo! I don't know one person with cancer who acts that way. Who can be so glib when your life is on the line, maybe at first, but honestly. I think "The Big C" is a Hollywood "idea" of what one would do, and the general unknowing public (Sorry general unknowing public), a game one plays at a party "So what would you do if you had only a year to live?" I especially don't like the way they have written the support group people. Those people can sometimes be our only lifeline! Boo to Laura Linney who produces it. I hope you turn your character around!