Friday, 28 January 2011
Goodness, what a month already. Remember I was sick of being sick, well I actually ended up in the hospital. Wow! The Xeloda is giving me trouble with breathing, my heart, and more (like they say in ads). Still my doctors want me to stay on it until they can work out what I can do to stave off those little bastards that are still in my liver.
Open letter to my liver.
Please, please be healthy, and mark those maverick cells to self destruct. I don't want to be unkind, but I need you to work harder at expelling them, and creating much more flexible and generous cells, ones who have a better work ethic. I don't mind the idea of going rogue, but not right now. We all need to work as a team-you know "all for one and all that".
I will give you more green juice and you can do your Japanese warrior thing okay.
That is it really. I want to get on with my art. I am painting these watercolors at present, I like them and think they have a potential for something in the future. Back in the tree business. How wonderful and amazing they are. Most are sleeping, at rest, and shut down like giant bears dotted all over. Buds closed tight, until spring when out will come their flower and berry secrets. Joy, just can't wait. It will help me identify them too.
What am I talking about you may wonder. Around where I live, is a literal cornucopia of timber. Amazing trees, some indigenous to pennsylvania others, brought in and exotic. Right on my doorstep are these giant plants. I have already started to research and document them. I look forward to painting them.
So, yes enough sickness. Bring on the paintbrushes for goodness sake. I need an art infusion now!
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Gosh, Happy New Year Everyone,
What a year! Do you know I am so sick of having cancer. I am so over having this disease. I have researched so much about it, ate the right food, done the diet, changed my thinking, life and so on. Still my "terrain" my personal environment is playing host.
I have been thinking about the hostess me. What I am giving this cancer to keep it at my party? The wine, the chocolate? I know I need to take this body out and get more exercise- this is on my list of new years intentions. To get myself out there.
It is sometimes so hard to "get out there", especially as I decided to take the chemotherapy drug, Xeloda. It makes one tired, gives me the most outrageous hot flashes. One minute of nausea and intense sadness, and two minutes of heat which as all you hot flashers out there know feels like an eternity.
Do I still have the stamina to keep moving forward in this crazy god given life I have- you becha! I have found another doctor (I know one more) who has a practice associated with the Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. I think he some ideas and treatments which will help my liver. High dose vitamin C, and Milk thistle infusions. Thank goodness there are still some options.